Time to let it out*

This picture is of my dog Tiny my Pitbull and Lola my chiuahaua...he was just a puppy in this pic and Lola was still a cranky old lady. April 1st Tiny suddenly passed away he was only two...I am having a hard time dealing with it. He was outside playing and I could hear him barking from the front yard.. I was mowing and weeding..I came in and fell asleep when I woke up I went to check on him and he was gone. It is still really hard for me to even type this. He was one of my babies a sweeter dog has yet to be created (as far as I'm concerned). We had him cremated and I have his ashes in a lovely black cermaic urn and his name is on the top. I blame myself.. I should have checked on him or brought him inside.. I should have been a good mom to him and protected him. Everyone says I can't blame myself..how could I have know he would pass away..but I don't care he was my baby and the only mom he knew. Everyday I miss him and I know some will read this and say "Geez he was just a dog" and technically they would be right, but he made each day brighter and he loved me and my family with everything in him and just for that he always be more to me and my family then just a dog. We still have his brother Socks a rambunctious funny dog and we have Lola and our cats, but they seem just as somber as us..they look for him..especially Socks..I know he's waiting for his happy bark. Each day will pass and we will come to terms with it, but we will never stop missing him and my heart aches with sadness and guilt..my puppy..my boy..my dog. I miss him...my Tiny boy.