You are refreshing and vital as the air, graceful and tender as sparkling water, lustrous and consuming as flames of fire, generous and enveloping as space and stable and deep as the earth.. you elemental woman are perfect beauty itself. *Ancient essay on the five elemental women of Indian mythology*


Tuesday, September 27, 2011

As I suffer with myself*

Sigh..ok...I have been having a hard time lately and I can't seem to find away to express my emotions. I suffer from depression, most of the time I do ok...I call myself a forced optimist..but circumstances that are not appropriate to discuss via the internet have made my everyday life difficult. 
A person in my life has betrayed my trust and I have had to find a way to come to terms with that. Also on top of that, I sometimes I feel like the world is going to shit and no matter how many wonderful, inspiring people there are it doesn't do one damn bit of good. Now don't get me wrong, I know that is not the case, but when I am down, people might as well just walk by and kick me cause I won't feel it. Yet despite my issues I still sign petitions, send letters, talk to people all the time about tolerance, acceptance, patience. I pray to the God and Goddess everyday, I remind myself of the love I feel for my children and my husband and I tell myself that despite feeling like everything is coming down around me....I can't stop wanting the world to be better, for people to respect and accept one another.
Even though it would be easy to crawl into my head and stay there, ignore everyone and everything...I can' children will grow up and the people they become with be in part based on the person I show them they can be...and I'm a matter what. So as I quietly fight with myself..I will continue to shout from my soapbox.


  1. Hang in there. Depression is like a dragon you have to fight everyday: it's huge, it's scary, it's exhausting, but you don't really have many choices, either fight it or be eaten. You aren't the only one (I'm one too). Love and blessings!

  2. Thank you so much for your support. I guess I'll have to keep my sword sharpened ;) Sending good mojo ur way.